


Of Course

by bandmating



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Short, Working things out, more vulnerable Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 15:34:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandmating/pseuds/bandmating
Summary: “You know that my worst fear, or that of any downworlder probably, is to be locked up?” Magnus stared blankly ahead, his voice in a flat tone Alec hadn’t heard before. “Locked up in a cage like some, some animal. Some monster.”





	Of Course

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: I haven’t actually seen the latest episode yet so this might not be canon-compliant!
> 
> Edit: After watching I realise this could have been longer if I'd incorporated more of what happened. And the setting isn't correct.

They sat in silence for a while longer and Alec grew more and more uncomfortable, feeling the guilt weighing down on him. But he would sit with Magnus forever if that was what it took for them to work on this.

Finally, Magnus broke the silence. “You know that my worst fear, or that of any downworlder probably, is to be locked up?” He stared blankly ahead, his voice in a flat tone Alec hadn’t heard before. “Locked up in a cage like some, some animal. Some monster.”

“Magnus, I am so sorry.” Alec couldn’t stay silent any longer. “I won’t let this happen again, I’m so-“

But Magnus held up a hand, still not looking at Alec. “This part was not your fault.”

Alec felt his throat close up. He knew he had made a huge mistake. The guilt was gnawing at him ever since he had left Magnus behind in the cell. But to hear it from the warlock was even more hurtful.

Magnus finally glanced at Alec. “But when I told you and you didn’t recognise me”, his voice was barely more than a whisper. “When I had thought you-“, he broke off. His eyes flickered between Alec’s before he continued: “But you didn’t recognise me and I began to wonder-“ Magnus fell silent, leaving Alec to fill in the blanks.

Alec stayed silent and thought carefully. He’d known before that he wasn’t the only one insecure in their relationship. Now he needed Magnus to know that it had been a mistake, it was his fault, it was no indication about his feelings for Magnus. It had been his fucking mistake.

“Magnus”, he began speaking softly. “When you told me in the cell, my entire heart was screaming inside me. That was the way you speak to me, that was the way you look at me. I knew it in my heart. But every rational part of me drowned these thoughts out. My head said it wasn’t possible. It was just another trick.”

Magnus smiled sadly. “That’s a shadowhunter for you”, he mumbled to himself and straightened up a little. “It was the right decision anyway. You can’t just let someone with Valentine’s face loose.”

“No, Magnus”, Alec shook his head. “You didn’t need me to make the right decision. You needed me to believe you. And I failed you. I am so sorry.”

Magnus examined Alec’s face. “Thank you, Alexander”, he finally said. For a moment, his eyes rested on Alec’s hands that were intertwined on his thighs but then he stood up and brushed himself off. “Would you like to come home with me?”, Magnus asked and created a portal in front of him.

Alec frowned. “If that is what you really want.”

Magnus looked back at him and smiled a little. “You’ll have to sleep on the couch but I’d like you to be there.”

“Of course”, Alec stood behind Magnus and followed him through the portal.

 

“Alec.” Magnus’ soft voice sounded through the living room.

Alec craned his head back to see him standing in the doorway to his bedroom. He didn’t look like he had slept either. “Yes?”

“Would you come to bed after all?”

Alec was already standing and slowly walked over to Magnus. He nodded fiercely and Magnus’ smile was a little less strained already.

“Could you just hold me please?”

“Of course”, Alec immediately answered and reached out to embrace Magnus.


End file.
